There is a terrorist in my neighbourhood. He stalks members of my family, prowls the perimeters of my house and, when emboldened, will find his way into my lounge to pick a violent, bloody brawl with my eldest child. His name is Nibbles.
Nibbles is a ginger savage who didn't get enough love in his kitten-hood and feels the need to project his pain onto Harvey, my grey and white spotted fluffy ball of joy.
Harvey lives in fear of this menace, opting to spend his time hiding behind couches, in cupboards and under coffee tables to avoid an attack.
Every morning I wake to the piercing scream of my cat, only to rush bleary-eyed downstairs where i find him cornered by the maniacal tiger. I launch a 3litre jug of ice water at Nibbles, soaking him nose to tail-tip with the freezing liquid, quietly praying (as only an atheist can) that he won't be coming back again. Repeat process the following morning. Ditto the day after that.
It's been four months of feline fury that my family has had to deal with. Rushing Harvey to the vet once a week for sprained ankles, rabies shots, bandages, therapy.
My main concern is that the owner of the cat (Mrs X) feels nothing for what we go through every day. "He's an angel at home!" She exclaims, a reassurance that we are in fact bonkers and have not dealt with her beast day in and day out for far too long.
This is my question: Do I take out the whole X family or just Nibbles? They're renting for Christ sakes,they don't even belong here!
I'm not sure if I need a paint-ball gun or a bulldog, either way, I intend to "deal" with Nibbles just as soon as I can get him on his own. No-one messes with my boys and gets away with it. No-one.